Getting my hair cut last week, I was asked, when I said I loved running in the dark, was I not afraid something might happen to me. I said no — my age deems me invisible and experience had already taught me that the likelihood of being sexual harassed or assaulted was far higher, by someone I knew. But of course, there are exceptions.
I know this too. Two thoughts immediately sprung to mind; the first, that his presence that particular day was, without question in my opinion, an orchestrated strategy and second, I remembered Brian Murphy—the young man beaten until he died, a mere thirty seconds later, outside Club Anabel, 30 August , by four former Blackrock College students, a place well known for its tradition of producing excellent rugby players. At the time, newspapers spoke of these young men in glowing terms, men with bright futures ahead of them.
Even the judge, in his sentencing statement said he did not want to cause any reputational damage to them by being too harsh for a night that was obviously just a bit of drunken madness—a statement dangerously close to assertions made about men who physically harm or rape women. In those days, I listened to the radio when I was driving. I remember being so angry and sad, in equal measure. I went to a private school. I would often hear the girls talking about what they were going to wear to a match the following weekend — and any girl who had an older sister who was able to pass on information as to where the players would be celebrating or commiserating after the match was given extra attention eat your heart out Madame Bovary.
The school scarf of a rugby player was a prized possession, one that brought the wearer extra attention and favour. If a girl was lucky enough to be given one by her boyfriend, she was lauded — elevated to a place others strove to reach.
It meant she had been chosen. If the girl went out with him long enough to bring him home to meet her parents, she was elevated higher — rewarded by bringing her shopping for extra clothes, maybe even a sneaky manicure. Her father, boasting at work about who his daughter was dating tended to be received more warmly in the business world.
